Solitude

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Today has become a day of pure productivity. I have managed to update my portfolio, apply to a few jobs/internships, send out a lot of resumes, etc etc. It’s this whole “it’s a new year,” attitude that’s making me so productive, of course, but I really appreciated this attitude today. Today was the first time in a long time that I’ve found myself content with being alone.

Over the past few years, I have become an extremely dependent person. I couldn’t do anything alone and while I acknowledged it, I wasn’t able to break away from it. Solitude was a fear of mine. There’s a kind of security in knowing that someone is always there; always around to be happy with you, sad with you, bored with you, there to listen to and to listen to you. Where was the security with myself? In fact, being alone gave me this extreme feeling of insecurity.

I have found, today, that I truly enjoyed my own company. I am completely comfortable with being by myself. I can’t exactly acknowledge the cause for this change as being anything other than growth. I appreciate it.

….Now back to my solitude….

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A Long Walk

DSC_0006I usually give my dog a good 8 minutes to get outside, handle his business, and get back inside before I get too aggravated. On this particular day, however, we took a long walk.

I live in the middle of a tourist trap. Manhattan. Where I intentionally give people incorrect directions just for my own cruel sense of humor, where I look the other way while my dog takes a crap so that I can say I didn’t pick it up because “I didn’t see it,” and where I people watch on the daily, matching plots to characters. On this particular day, however, I was looking at this tourist trap through a different lens.

This day, was January 1st, 2014. Happy New Year. On this day, I was less focused on being a typical, mean, cruel, always-in-a-rush New Yorker. Today, I was trying out a new version of “me.” Not a better version, I don’t think there is one… :) But a new version for sure. The new me smiled at people as they walked past. The new me took a minute to be grateful to see another day. The new me had an agenda. I had a plan for the day, for the week. I had a plan for my year. The new me had goals for what is to be a wonderful, spectacular, amazing year.

On the walk back to my building, after my long walk with my companion, I reminded myself of how much I hate when people reinvent themselves at midnight for the new year. “New year, new me.” I hate that saying.

So much for that.

30 Days of Truth // (1) Something You Hate About Yourself

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Hate? It wouldn’t be honest of me to sit here and write about something that I hate about myself. That’s not the correct word. I can say, however, that there are some things about me that I just do not understand, and while they may be flaws, I firmly believe that one of the most important components of an individual’s life is their flaws. Flaws are unique, but they are also subjective. Kind of like the whole “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” thing…

My flaw is huge. Nothing physical, and not many people notice it, but I do (& MY MOM DOES.) I say the word “can’t” so often it’s almost as if I lack ability in all aspects of life. I am good for setting goals for myself and quickly resort to the “can’t” word once I see how far away or unattainable that goal may seem.

What’s very interesting about this flaw is that “can’t” is the absolute last word a creative should use. There is no “can’t.”  In the creative world, everything is attainable, and while it may take some thought, all goals can be achieved. That’s what creativity is all about. Unique solutions, doing the impossible, unexpected actions… You can, you can, you can. So do. 

I tell myself this all the time… and yet… I am so quick to use that stupid word. Because I can, right? Haha.

WHY AM I AWAKE

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It’s about 6:30 in the morning on Christmas Eve. I am 20 years old. Christmas is no longer exciting to me. So that can’t be the reason why I’m awake.

It’s dead silent in this apartment. So no, noise isn’t the reason.

You know who’s awake right now? Me and old people that get up to make their bowls of raisin bran (gross) and watch the news at this time. Sure, the news is cool and everything but I have Twitter and that’s an all day thing so……….

ANYWAY. I’m up. I’m bored. Time to start a new project.

Oil pastel portrait. From way back when. “Drugs”

“KERNING, KERNING, KERNING!”

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As the semester winds down & I’m very very ready to check out, the workload of my classes increases. The absolute worst one has to be my Art Direction class. Every Tuesday & Thursday from 12:20-1:50 (I could be eating lunch at this time but here I am…) I come to this class, wait for my critique, I’m given a ton of things to change only to end up changing it back to the way it was in the long run, and listen to why the type I chose sucks. & IF I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT KERNING ONE MORE TIME… >:O

A Good Saturday

This past Saturday, I visited a friend in Long Island for her birthday event. During a totally random stop to the market to pick up ice, I saw a scratch off ticket machine. I only had $1 in my wallet and I’m not sure what made me decide to go ahead and reach for it but I did. I put the dollar in the machine with the intentions on buying the first ticket I saw that cost one dollar. However, when I pressed for it, the machine told me I didn’t have enough for that ticket (even though it was a dollar!) At this point, I thought the machine robbed me of my last dollar so I furiously pressed another button for a ticket. To my surprise, a ticket came out. It wasn’t the ticket I wanted but I figured it was better than losing the dollar completely. I pulled a quarter out of my pocket, kissed it up to God, began to scratch the card, and sure enough…

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Thank God.

-Q

Mr. Brainwash

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After a recent release of a new print by Mr. Brainwash (MBW), I was reminded of how much I love love love street art. Last summer, I found myself in a gallery full of Mr. Brainwash’s work in downtown Manhattan and there was no way anyone was going to tell me I couldn’t grab a spray can and just completely own New York City. I didn’t, of course, but yeah. Totally inspired.

http://www.mrbrainwash.com

OLD SCHOOL! *beatboxes*

ImageAmber tagged me in this “Old School Blogging Tag”…. I’m assuming this is what people used to blog about. Lol. Anyways…

Attached or Single? Single. Very very single.

Best friends? I have a few of those. & then I have my “family,” those people that aren’t really related to you but they’re beyond just being your friends..

Cake or Pie? What??? How can anyone even ask this question? BOTH.

Day of Choice? Whatever day I’m off from work.

Essential Item? Of EVERYTHING I own, it has to be my macbook. My whole life is on this thing. & Then my phone would be the runner-up because it’s basically the more portable version of my macbook.

Favorite Color? Black (I know, that’s not a color.) & GLITTER (I know that’s not a color either…) Okay, fine. Pink.

Gummy Bears or Worms? Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers (Those are worms for those who unfortunately were not aware. I suggest you buy yourself a pack and enjoy.)

Hometown? Harlem, New York. NYC by definition is the best place in North America. Complete with rude people that everyone loves to hate.

Favorite indulgence? SNICKERS ICE CREAM & CHIPOTLE & tweeting about SNICKERS ICE CREAM & CHIPOTLE.

January or July? July, I guess. Either way I’m at home twiddling my thumbs and waiting to return to school.

Kids? Oh, gosh, no.

Life isn’t complete without?  Family, friends, and Chipotle.

Marriage Date? Oh, gosh, no.

Number of brothers and sisters? I have two [canine] brothers. One named Biggie, the other named Napoleon. I’m selling them for free.

Oranges or apples?  I’m anti-healthy & I hear fruit is.. well, healthy. So….

Phobias? The day that birds taking over the world like in that Hitchcock film “The Birds.” I watched a bird smack an old lady in the street before… That day is approaching. Be prepared.

Quotes? “Not all those who wander are lost.” That also happens to be the quote on my tattoo. When I was younger and in this program over the summer, we had to pick a quote that we would remember, live by, keep near & dear to us, etc etc… & that was the quote I chose because I AM A WANDERER. Never seemingly on task. Always questioning things. Digging deeper than I probably should. But I always thought I experienced and learned about a lot more that way. So I never stopped. I’m not lost. Years later, and check me out… Still out here wandering. :)

Reasons to smile? My amazing family and friends and support system; the reasons why I refuse to give up! (I stole this from Amber… Good answer, girl!)

Season of choice? Fall. Not too hot, not too cold. My birthday is towards the end of that season. Andddd it’s the season of layering. I LOVE LAYERING.

Tag 5 people.  Everybody. Go ahead. Say I tagged you. Lol

Unknown fact about me. I have no clue where my last name came from. My dad & I are the only ones in the family with it. WHO ARE WE?

Vegetable? Again, I am anti-healthy. I don’t prefer vegetables…. (However, I will eat them if they are in my Chipotle.)

Worst habit? Not finishing what I start.

X-ray or Ultrasound? I don’t care.

Favorite Food? Chipotle.

Zodiac sign? Sagittarius.

How many times did I say Chipotle in this post?

Real Quick…

Another post just to answer one question as quickly as I possibly can. Why did you start this blog?

This has to be my, third, fourth, maybe fifth attempt at maintaining a blog. I have been encouraged by multiple people to start one, because the things I choose to do in my leisure time are worth sharing (or so I’ve been told). This is a blog that shares both my creations as well as what has been an inspiration to me throughout my creative processes, or any processes for that matter, and hopefully they will inspire someone else who happens to take a look at this thing.

I have “stage-fright,” if you will, about sharing my work. I need everything to be perfect. I think that stems from my interest in art & design developing in an environment where I was graded for my creativity. The nightmares I had about submitting a portfolio for a grade… Man…

This blog is supposed to help me get over that. It will.

My #1 inspiration when it comes to blogging: AMBER! Because she’s great at it and has managed to stay dedicated to it. I won’t neglect this one, Amber, I swear!

– Q

 

Living in a Gallery

After being stationed in Philadelphia for two years, I have finally really opened my eyes to this city. The recent unveiling of The Roots mural on South Street (which I love) instantly made me think of every other mural that I have encountered during my time here. Each one tells a different story. The city of Philadelphia is a live-in art gallery. 

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My next project (currently in progress) will be dedicated to the city of Philadelphia. Stay tuned.

A Love Letter: To A Lost Art

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With a crayon, with a pen, with a marker… On the mirror with a lipstick or eyeliner.

Scribbles, undecipherable to many. Stick figures in the corner of a paper, the smallest one is me.

Shapes. Squares, triangles, and circles later turning into boxes, diamonds, and spirals.

Rocket ships, cartoons, teachers that I never liked.

On the bus, in class, in my room, at work.

On my forearm, on my paper cup from lunch… I can’t forget the napkin. My favorite canvas.

You are expressive. You are abstract. You are raw.

You hold the most potential, it’s amazing actually. My creativity begins with you.

Here’s to you, the doodle. A lost art. While I hold onto you, I hope others can find you again.

Doodle more. It’s good for the mind.

– Q